First, we have a financial crisis that led to a credit contraction that led to a very severe recession. Our economy is essentially like a house on fire. This is how Obamanomics addresses that fire.
Help! Our economy tanked and the house is on fire!
Don't worry, let's pass a stimulus bill to fix this problem. What we need right now is more spending and what better project to spend our $787 Billion dollars on? Christmas Decorations! Everyone loves Christmas.
But Wait! We don't need any of that crap now. We need stuff that will grow the economy and help put out this fire, not this stuff. The House is Still on fire, and now getting worse!
Don't worry, we got this. What we need right now is Cap and Trade. Green Jobs, that is the answer. And by the way, we will save the Earth. Green Jobs will be like the new gasoline to power the American Economy.
Wait a minute, won't that make things worse? How does pouring gasoline on this fire help.
Don't worry, we Know what we are doing.
ARGH! Now things are even worse! You don't know what you are doing! HELP!
Don't worry, we have just the thing. HEALTHCARE REFORM! That will fix things. You don't hate old people do you? Don't you want people to have healthcare.
Wait, don't you think you should do something about this fire first?
Don't worry, we know what we are doing. Healthcare is like a roof that protects all Americans from bad weather.
Please stop! DO SOMETHING ELSE! The house is REALLY BURNING NOW!
Hmm, this is a puzzlement. OK, Now we know what to do. We need to pass card check so ALL Americans can join Unions. That will fix this up really quick. Union membership is like firewood, and when used properly can warm all Americans in prosperity.
FIREWOOD! Are you NUTS! We have a FIRE NOW!
And we really need to raise Taxes. Raising Taxes is kind of like getting rid of all of these excess RACIST Firemen that are just standing around doing nothing. These firemen are just like all of those greedy businesses and rich people that caused this problem in the first place. We need to teach them a lesson.
And we need more regulation. Just look at these Firehoses, how dangerous they are. Why, if they were used on full strength they could really hurt someone. We need to adjust these down so they are safer. They are dispensing WAY too much water.
But WAIT! We need MORE FIREMEN AND WATER NOT LESS!!
Don't worry, we know what we are doing.
There, things are all fixed up now. Thank GOD we saved America and the Economy.
Ok, next project. Let's build a new house, this time made of something less flammable, say ICE! Yeah, Ice is water and definitely won't burn. That will make the Economy impervious to downturns, and just think how much cooler it will be to be in a new ice house in August!
You guys really don't know what you are doing, do you?
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2 comments:
Hey, I built an igloo some years ago in the cold of winter after a good snowfall. It was actually much warmer inside than it was outside.
very funny, but sadly true at at the same time.
I also live in the area and just recently started a blog. Nancy Pelosi kind of gave me the inspiration when she called the tea party people "astroturf" Hey, whats wrong with astroturf? It NEVER dies or fades!
http://citizenczar.blogspot.com/
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