Through the magic of Technology, and despite the fact that General Lemay has been dead for almost 20 years, I have scored a coup and convinced the great General to sit down with me for an interview over the situation in Iran.
Below is a transcript of my interview:
Paul C: General, I am so glad you could join me this evening. Given the trouble we are having with our enemies on the verge of developing nuclear weapons, an anxious nation turns to you and asks what you would do in this situation.
General Lemay: Thanks for having me here Paul, and great blog by the way. That post on President Rainbow Brite Sparkles Snuggle Pony had me, Mcarthur, Patton and Eisenhower HOWLING at the great officers club in the sky. But I digress...
So, are the Nips acting up again? Bill, fire up the B27s!!!
Paul C: No General, it's not the Japanese this time. It's the Iranians. They are trying to develop nuclear weapons, have fired off some long range rockets, and appear to be dead set on moving ahead on going nuclear, threatening Israel and becoming a Hegemon in the Middle East.
General Lemay: Oh! Bill, Kill that request! Well, hmmmm, seems like we have an interesting situation here. Now, according to what I have learned, we roughly know where these weapons are being developed right?
Paul C: Right.
General Lemay: Well Paul, I would get Akmawhatever, Bill, what is that Falfafel Vendor in the Member's Only Jacket's name?
Bill (offstage) : Ahmadinejad
General Lemay: Whatever. I would tell Haji that he has 48 hours to destroy those sites and another 48 hours to let our inspectors in, or else.
Paul C: Or else what?
General Lemay: Or else we launch a tit-load of bunker busters on those sites so that those "mountains" can be scaled with a step ladder. Then if he doesn't let our inspectors in we will move to phase 2.
Paul C: What is Phase 2
General Lemay: Phase 2 would be the systematic destruction of their entire military infrastructure through smart bombs. Hell son, the bombs you got today are LIGHT years better than what we had. Jesus Christ Mary and Joseph, if I had these weapons, I could have whipped the Nips in a weekend.
Paul C: What if they still don't let in the inspectors.
General Lemay: Damn boy, if they didn't like Phase 2, they are going to HATE phase 3. Phase 3 would be the total eradication of their entire industrial infrastructure (plants, factories) etc.
Paul C: How many phases would you go? How would this end?
General Lemay: Oh, it would end... Trust me, it would end. Phase 4 would be the destruction of all power plants and water treatment facilities. Still, we would be careful to limit casualities as much as possible, but we wouldn't use nuclear weapons. As I said before " I think there are many times when it would be most efficient to use nuclear weapons. However, the public opinion in this country and throughout the world throw up their hands in horror when you mention nuclear weapons, just because of the propaganda that's been fed to them. " actual Curtis Lemay quote
Paul C: Is there a phase 5?
General Lemay: Ever heard of Saturation Carpet Bombing?
Paul C: They still might not give in. They still might not allow in inspectors. Would you then suggest we invade on land?
General Lemay: Boy, you aint too bright are you? After the complete leveling of the entire infrastructure of their country, I think they are going to be more worried about how to get the water going for the next 20 years and which goat to take to the prom than screwing around with developing nuclear weapons. We can bomb them back into the stone age without having to resort to that.
Paul C: But General, won't that just create more terrorists? Won't that hand the enemies a propaganda victory?
General Lemay: Total Bullshit! As I remember, we destroyed 80% of Japan and German cities and infrastructure, killed millions of their citizens and yet..... are we overrun with Japanese or German Terrorists?
Paul C: Hmmmmm..... That is an interesting point General. So, why do you think that is?
General Lemay: If you kill enough of them, they stop fighting. actual Curtis Lemay quote
Paul C: Thanks again for coming tonight General. Our Nation owes you a great debt for your service.
General Lemay: Keep up the good work Paul, and keep your eyes on those commies.
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13 comments:
Ah!
His favorite way to relax was to put on his judogi and slam a few live bodies on the tatami.
I miss the good old days when the B-52's were in the air and ready to "Tango" 24/7, and believe me, so do our enemies.
Today, the only thing that flies in the Obama White House is the BS.
Lemay was an ass and thankfully he lost out to ICBMs which made first strikes MAD. Bombers were part of the past.
And from Wikipedia a nice short summary of why he could have started WW III and we all could be dead for assholes like him: "During the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962, LeMay clashed again with U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Defense Secretary McNamara, arguing that he should be allowed to bomb nuclear missile sites in Cuba, even though he himself estimated that his planes could take out only about 90 percent of these sites. He opposed the naval blockade, and after the end of the crisis, suggested that Cuba be invaded anyway, even after the Russians agreed to withdraw. LeMay called the peaceful resolution of the crisis "the greatest defeat in our history."
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ay7TUQMYFEw/SsNwmrPSWCI/AAAAAAAAB3A/3KLLDNP_KhQ/s1600-h/reagan+quote.JPG
Lemay was right! Kennedy passed up a golden opportunity to take Cuba back.
Take Cuba Back? From what? Historians would argue that could have started WWIII.
"n the 1950's, under Eisenhower, LeMay had the authority to order a nuclear strike without presidential authorization if the president could not be contacted. That option was extended down to General Thomas Power, head of SAC, whom LeMay himself described as "not stable" and a "sadist." LeMay's proposal for a nuclear first strike and massive destruction of the Soviets was thwarted by Eisenhower, whom LeMay came to consider as indecisive. He was even more disgusted with Kennedy, whom LeMay believed to be a coward. LeMay talked openly about a preemptive attack in which one hundred million people would be killed.
If ever there were a mad, rogue general who would lead a coup, it would appear to have been General Curtis LeMay.
After LeMay retired from the Air Force, he teamed with Alabama governor George Wallace in an unsuccessful candidacy for the vice presidency. LeMay died in 1990. In the years following his unsuccessful political race, he became somewhat of a recluse, seldom leaving his home."
-- http://www.geocities.com/lemaycurtis/
I was in Cuba at that time, I still remember the fear that existed in the military there at the time. They were sure that the end of their regime was inevitable.
As far as the Soviets, they would have reacted just as they did in the Dominical Republic in 1964 when the US took out the Soviet back leaders there.
The Soviets had more invested in Cuba - the outcome could have been quite different.
If the Soviets were serious about Cuba, they would never have turned their fleet back. It's a fact that they blinked and a golden opportunity was missed.
Soviet records after their collapse show that they were inferior in military technology at that time and they knew it, making them very fearful of a full confrontation with the US. They were at odds with China and even if China was convinced to help them, they had their attention on India at the time.
BULLSHIT!
"Arguably the most dangerous moment in the crisis was unrecognized until the Cuban Missile Crisis Havana conference in October 2002, attended by many of the veterans of the crisis, at which it was learned that on October 26, 1962 the USS Beale had tracked and dropped signalling depth charges on the B-39, a Soviet Foxtrot-class submarine which was armed with a nuclear torpedo. Running out of air, the Soviet submarine was surrounded by American warships and desperately needed to surface. An argument broke out among three officers on the B-39, including submarine captain Valentin Savitsky, political officer Ivan Semonovich Maslennikov, and chief of staff of the submarine flotilla, Commander Vasiliy Arkhipov. An exhausted Savitsky became furious and ordered that the nuclear torpedo on board be made combat ready. Accounts differ about whether Commander Arkhipov convinced Savitsky not to make the attack, or whether Savitsky himself finally concluded that the only reasonable choice left open to him was to come to the surface.[32]
At the Cuban Missile Crisis Havana conference, Robert McNamara admitted that nuclear war had come much closer than people had thought. Thomas Blanton, director of the National Security Archive, said that "a guy called Vasili Arkhipov saved the world." - from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_Missile_Crisis
Unfortunally, we tend to dismiss our real men of war. During the 20's and 30's, Billy Mitchell warned about pottential attacks and was court martialled for his troubles. No one was interested in listening to him and we got Pearl Harbor to remember for that mistake. McCarthur was fired for his similar warnings and just throwing out the idea of using nukes and unfortunately, later so was Lemay.
We keep getting reminders like the first World Trade Center bombing and later the total destruction of the WTC complex to stir something for a couple of years, but them we forger again.
It seams that we literally have to forget history to later have it repeat itself and deal us another kick in the butt for a temporary reminder.
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